Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I made it! .......to Manchester

Apparently when I booked this trip, I booked the cheapest one-way possible, which has now resulted in a 4-hour layover in Manchester, U.K.  So yes, technically I've made it, but not really to my final destination yet.

Anyhow, really the entire reason for this post is that I wanted to start a tally of casualties so far.

Casualties (10 hours into my journey):

- (1) Puma shoe
- (1) bottle of conditioner
- (1) body wash
- (1) backpack tie

To explain the shoe, it disappeared from my backpack somewhere between JFK and Manchester Airport. Don't ask, I don't know how it disappeared or where it went. Yes, I know I had it when I left. RIP to my pretty unworn shoe.  I am now wondering if I should bother keeping the other one. It looks so lonely.

To explain the rest, the security at this airport is NO JOKE. The customs official grilled me, then they had these insane retina-scanning machines, then the security line man told me I had too many liquids and insisted I force them all into the tiniest bag in the world. In England, brow stuff is a liquid, y'all.

I literally stood there for 20 minutes arranging and rearranging my "liquids" in just a fashion that I could squish in as many of my 15 travel-sized bottles into the tiny bag, all while the security man drilled lasers into me with his super judgmental eyes from 6 inches away. It was like some kind of fabulous puzzle game, but in real life: maximize the use of space in a way that results in the highest-per-unit cost arrangement while someone stares judge-ily. In the end, I was impressed that the only losses were the conditioner and body wash. The bag was basically squished to the max. I've never been so pleased. At the same time, I've never seen anyone (grumps security man)  so decidedly unimpressed with me.

And I ripped my bag tie because my backpack is equivalent to Cheryl Strayed's backpack Monster.

I'm tagging this post Europe.

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